Thursday, January 31, 2008

Update...

Lately there were so many things crawled in my mind… Some things were good, some things were bad, some were confused hehehe… Some were my heart’s words, some were my own thoughts, some were questions… However, until now I’m still struggling to discipline my mind and grab His truth to fill it…

Hmmm… sometimes I feel unsure, sometimes I feel optimistic… the truth is I need your prayers… hehehe… No one can stand alone without the support from others, rite?

Emangnya apa yang terjadi?

Well… actually everything’s just fine… Secara logika siy aku tau apa yang harus dilakuin. Cuman sisi dalemnya aja yang lagi dalam proses… Please pray for me ya friends… thanx before hehehe…

Ini internet kantor lagi mati, makanya nulis blog ini dulu di Word hihihi… secara kerja juga terhambat, ga bisa cari gambar ‘n bahan artikel di internet. Barusan denger-denger juga katanya Jakarta banjir… Wew… Mo tanya kabar temen online ga bisa… bethey deh hihihi… Udah jam 11… satu  jam lagi makan siang hehehe… Ga laper siy cuman daripada ga ada yang bisa ditunggu hehehe… Internet ga pasti kapan nyambungnya lagi… Ga enak banget di depan kompie yang internetnya ga nyala… Mo ngapain yah? Palingan bentar lagi aku mo kerjain artikel dari bahan yang udah aku save kemaren aja ah… daripada bengong…

Hmmm… weekend besok aku mo di Cikarang aja, lagi males ke Jakarta… males polusinya ‘n segala macem asapnya ituh (kalo nunggu bus di halte campur aduk deh, dari asep bus, asep rokok, asep orang jualan sate, phuihhhh T_T poor my nose)… Tunggu sampe aku sembuh 100% aja dari TB ini (bulan ini ntar mau rontgen ‘n periksa darah lagi, udah perawatan jalan bulan ke 9), baru ntar jalan-jalan lagi. Sigh… aku baru nyadar kalo ternyata sebenernya aku ini doyan jalan juga hehehe… Ya abis di kos ga ada siapa-siapa, semua seringnya pada pulang… ya pengen jalan deh… But if my family are here with me, I guess I’d rather be with them hehehe… (waiting on March to go home… dubidubidu…).      

Become A Better You (by Joel Osteen)

Years ago I went into a government building that had two sets of double doors spaced about fifteen feet apart. The doors opened automatically as I approached, but for security reasons, when I went through the first set of doors, I had to let them close tightly before the next set of doors would open in front of me. As long as I stayed at the first set of doors, the second set would not open.

In many ways, life operates in a manner similar to those automatic doors. You have to let go of your disappointments, let go of your failures, and let those doors totally close behind you. Step forward into the future that God has for you, knowing there’s nothing you can do about past disappointments. You cannot change the past, but you can do something about the future. What’s in front of you is far more important than what is behind you. Where you are going is more significant than where you came from or where you have been.

If you will have the right attitude, you will give birth to more in the future than you’ve lost in the past. Quit looking back. This is a new day. It may seem like your dreams have died, but God can resurrect your dead dreams or give you brand-new ones. He is a supernatural God, and when we believe, all things are possible.

You will give birth to more in the future than you’ve lost in the past.
God has not given up on you; He knows that He put seeds of greatness in you. You have something to offer that nobody else has. He’s given you noble dreams and desires. Too often, however, we allow adversities, disappointments, and setbacks to deter us, and before long, we find that we’re not pressing forward anymore. We’re not stretching; we’re not believing we will rise any higher in life.

Ironically, some of the most gifted, talented people go through some of the most unfair, unfortunate experiences: divorce, abuse, neglect. And it’s easy for such a person to think, Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve any of this?

Unfortunately, the enemy knows something about what’s on the inside of you as well. He knows the poten­tial you’re carrying, so he does everything he can to keep that seed from taking root. He doesn’t want your gifts and talents to flourish. He doesn’t want you to accomplish your dreams. He wants you to live an average, mediocre life.

But understand this: God did not create any person without putting something extremely valuable on the inside. Life may have tried to push you down through disappointments or setbacks. In the natural, you don’t know how you could rise any higher. You don’t see how you’re ever going to be happy. You need to dig your heels in and say, “I know what I have on the inside. I’m a child of the Most High God. I’m full of His ‘can-do’ power, and I’m going to rise up to become everything God has created me to be.”

The apostle Paul urged his young understudy Timothy, “Stir up the gift within you.” Similarly, you need to stir up your gifts, talents, dreams and desires—in short, the potential within you. Maybe these qualities and traits are buried beneath depression and discouragement, negative voices of people telling you that you can’t; beneath weaknesses; beneath failures or fears. But the good things of God are still there. Now you’ve got to do your part and start digging them out.

Sumber: Joyce Meyer Online Magz

Broken Embrace (by Rachel Starr Thomson)

It still surprises me when someone hurts me.

Yes, in my head I know nobody's perfect — that we're all sinners. But deep inside I'm still an ingenuous child with perfect faith in human nature. I believe in the world of Disney musicals, where everyone is either good or bad, where the sun shines and we all sing and dance together.

And then something happens: a word, an action, something that hurts. On my own with my pain I face reality and wrestle with it.

My prayers then come out of a deep place, with my hands shaking, emotions rolling, crying out the words against every natural inclination: "God, I forgive, I forgive, I forgive! Help me forgive." Forgiveness is one of the most painful things any of us will ever face. At exactly the same time, it will mark us as God's in a way that nothing else can.

Two men represent forgiveness for me, both in the Bible. Joseph was 17 years old, spoiled, and eager to be recognized by his half-brothers, all of whom had been alienated by the overt favoritism shown him by his father. He followed them out of town one day, and when they saw him coming they jumped him, tore every mark of his father's love away from him, and threw him into a pit to die. The next morning, moved by greed and fear, they changed their original plan and sold Joseph into slavery.

He's not the only young man in history to be violently rejected by those whose love he desired. Jesus was 33 when one of his best friends sent Him to the executioner with a kiss on the cheek; when His countrymen shouted down any suggestion that mercy be shown Him; when people He'd spent His life helping nailed Him to a piece of wood and stood by laughing while He died. He suffered terribly at the hands of others.

He wasn't the first, and He wasn't the last.

Chances are you know a little about pain yourself. To be human is to be wounded. And through all the hurt comes the inexorable call of God, most terrible of all His commandments — forgive. We must forgive. God leaves us no option.

The old saying goes that "to forgive is divine." Certainly nothing could be further from the natural human way of doing things. We discover a wound in our souls and immediately want to heal it our own way. We erect walls around it in a bid to make ourselves whole. We take revenge so we won't have to feel weak. We mumble, "I forgive you," but refuse to extend our hands in love, open our hearts to fellowship ... or forget.

In stark contrast, God calls His people to handle brokenness by becoming more broken.

A friend once said to me, "I don't think there can be true forgiveness without an embrace." His words brought to mind the old story Jesus once told about a father with a pig of a son (read Luke 15). He waited in the road every day, hoping against hope to catch a glimpse of his boy coming home. And when that welcome silhouette finally appeared on the horizon, his father went running out to meet him: caught him, kissed him, embraced him, and celebrated his return — and the son hadn't even managed to get his apology out.

Every act of forgiveness is distinctly Christ-like, for nothing goes more against the human instinct for self-preservation. For us to kiss those who crucify us requires brokenness — not on their part, but on ours. God calls us to echo in our own lives the attitude displayed by Christ as He looked down from the cross at the mocking faces of his murderous brethren and said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

The Old Testament story of Joseph takes us through the same journey of betrayal and forgiveness. It begins with a teenage boy sold into slavery by his brothers. It ends with the same Joseph weeping tears of love over them. Joseph knew it would break him to forgive his brothers. He embraced them anyway. His words to them, choked out through tears, stand as a memorial of the power of love:

"Come close to me," Joseph said. "Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you."

Genesis 45 records that, having said this, Joseph "kissed all his brethren and wept over them." Every wall Joseph had ever erected to keep himself safe shattered and fell to the floor, finished by the power of forgiveness. He let go of his fear, of his pride, of his self-sufficiency. He was willing to be broken.

Joseph's open arms and tear-filled eyes reflect the heart of God toward us. God is love, and in love there is brokenness — no pride, no vengeance. Love would rather suffer for the sinner than see the sinner suffer. God forgives the way Joseph did, pleading with those who wronged him not to suffer any more over what they had done.

Forgiveness is not passive. It is a deliberate act of "overcoming evil with good." Jesus once admonished his followers to love their enemies, bless those who cursed them, do good to those who hated them, and pray for those who persecuted them (see Matthew 5). The gospel is the story of the brokenness of God, as He actively pours love on those who have rejected Him. At the heart of all we believe is a Man who holds out nail-scarred hands to His murderers and says, "Come close to me."

Forgiveness is no easy thing. When we have been wronged, we are already hurting. We can't forgive without letting down our pride and anger; without making ourselves more vulnerable. We must let sorrow flood in and humility do its uncomfortable work. We must allow God to break our hearts so that we can kiss those who wound us and weep before them. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is God-like. In our journey to become like our Father, it is of inestimable worth.

Jesus' horror story ended with the Resurrection. Joseph's ended with reconciliation and one final speech. "What you intended for evil," he said, "God intended for good." In the end, we cannot forgive unless we're willing to trust God and believe that this story is bigger than we are. Jesus declared that the road to life was through death. Faced with our own need, we can only throw our heads back, look to our Father, and cry, "Forgive us, as we forgive. Let us be broken, O Lord, and make us whole again."

Sumber: Boundless

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

New Rules @ My Office Room

Akhirnya BEBASSSSSSSS...!!!!

Tadi pagi WebContent IT semuanya meeting lewat YM conference, ngebahas satu hal yang boleh dibilang masih berhubungan erat ama separuh nyawaku hihihihi... Gini, ceritanya kita udah nerima banyak komplain tentang kebiasaan beberapa orang yang pas jam kerja buka macem2 website pribadi such as blog, FS, dll... Nah tadi pagi kita komitmen sekaligus juga buat kesepakatan 'n sanksi, bahwa pas jam kerja semua itu verbodden, baru free pas jam istirahat lunch 'n after office hour.

Just fyi, dari antara 5 orang Webcontent IT, yang doyan banget ngeblog cuman ada 2 orang, include me salah satunya hehehe... So I start my commitment today, and I'm willing to continue and discipline myself.

Jangan ditanya gimana rasanya, buat seorang blogger, ngeblog adalah separuh nyawanya... Kalo mau ekstrim, ga ngeblog itu bagaikan ga bernafas di habitat yang seharusnya hihihihi... hiperbola banget hihihihi... Ya pasti ada yang ilang lah... Berasa rada aneh gimana gitu... Tangan dah pengen ngeklik link blog, tapi otak mengirimkan pesan berupa lampu merah dan tanda verboden... Jadi ya sudahlah taat pada perintah otak hehehehehe...

Dan ini udah lewat jam kantor... Horeeee bebasssss hihihihihi.... Gatel euy tangan pengen ngeblog... Selama tadi nahan ga ngeblog itu kadang berasa stuck... abis kebiasaan kalo dah rada bosen ngerjain sesuatu itu pelariannya sementara ke blog, entah itu nulis atau bentaran blogwalking, abis refresh ya lanjut kerja lagi. Aku pikir sebelumnya ga papa gitu kan lagian aku juga ga pulang on time, kelarin kerjaan sampe kelar pokoknya. Tapi berhubung dah disepakati begitu tadi ya udah dijalanin aja hehehe...

Apapun kesepakatannya, setelah jam bebas tetep ngeblog!!!!
Hidup ngeblog!!!
Hehehehe...

Monday, January 28, 2008

Tentang Meninggal...

Baru Minggu kemaren Pak Soeharto meninggal... Eh kemaren malem ada adek kelasku pas SMA sms ngasitau kalo dulu Fang Ding (adik kelas dia, kita semua 1 kos dulu waktu SMA) meninggal di Beijing. Waktu aku tanya kenapa, dia bales sms bilang kalo katanya Fang Ding meninggal waktu tidur, ga bangun-bangun gitu... 'n dia di Beijing lagi sekolah bahasa. She's just so young, maybe she is in her early 20th...

Trus adek kelasku itu sms lagi nanya, "Ce, kenapa God cepat panggil dia? Kan masih muda..." Ini smsnya aku baru baca tadi pagi, rupanya waktu kemaren dia sms lagi aku dah ketiduran hehehe... Why? Hmmm... how should I know?

Sometimes there are questions that remain unanswered... Coz cuman Tuhan yang tau... Dari awal Tuhan yang punya rencana atas hidup seseorang. Pemikiran dan kebijaksanaan Dia jauhhhhh melebihi pemikiran dan hikmat manusia.

Kira-kira 2 minggu lalu ada pengkotbah yang dateng ke CBN bareng istrinya. Dia sempet share waktu dulu awal-awal dia berkeluarga. Istrinya pengen banget cepet punya anak. Dan waktu dia hamil pertama kalinya, mereka semua excited 'n udah menyiapkan semuanya. Tapi pas hari kelahiran bayinya, ternyata bayinya udah meninggal waktu masih di dalam rahim, dokter yang membantu kelahirannya juga ga habis pikir 'n ga punya penjelasan, karena kondisi ibu 'n bayi itu baik-baik aja... Then why? That's one unanswered question...

Ada kisah nyata yang aku baca di salah satu website, tentang seorang anak cewek yang didiagnosa menderita penyakit mematikan... dia harus terus menerus cuci darah selama dia hidup, dan itupun hanya untuk memperpanjang umurnya aja. Lalu apa yang dilakukan dia dan keluarganya? Dia dan keluarganya berperan aktif dalam kampanye penggalangan donor darah, coz banyak orang yang juga membutuhkan donor darah sama seperti dia. Sampai dia sudah meninggalpun, efek dari apa yang dia lakukan selama dia masih hidup itu ga hilang begitu aja, dia udah menginspirasi banyak orang. Mungkin yang paling terinspirasi adalah papanya sendiri, papanya akhirnya pindah kerja dan full time bekerja di badan penggalangan donor darah di San Fransisco, dari hanya sebagai karyawan sampai dia jadi kepala bagian. Papanya menghidupi visi yang terinspirasi dari kehidupan anaknya yang hanya sebentar itu.
Kenapa anak itu ga hidup lebih lama? Bukannya bakal lebih banyak lagi orang yang bakal terinspirasi? Hmm... only God knows...

Ada lagi beberapa pertanyaan yang ga terjawab. Gimana soal cara seseorang meninggal? Kebanyakan orang mungkin pengen meninggal dengan tenang, tanpa rasa sakit 'n juga ga merepotkan orang lain. Mungkin meninggal waktu udah tua 'n lagi tidur adalah yang paling ideal... Tapi waktu diperhadapkan dengan cara kematian yang tragis, kita menjadi shock... Gimana bisa orang yang baik meninggal dengan cara yang seperti itu, misalnya kecelakaan, dibunuh, dll... sepertinya ga adil... But do you remember how Jesus died? Dan gimana juga dengan cara meninggalnya rasul Petrus 'n Stefanus?

Beberapa minggu lalu, awal-awal Januari, mama dari bos saya juga meninggal, karena kecelakaan. Waktu dia masih dirawat di ICU, sempat di city-scan 'n kepalanya ga papa. Tapi setelah meninggal, baru ketahuan kalo kepalanya bocor... How can we explain that? Lagian mau diurus gimana juga nyawa juga ga balik... Yang bisa dilakuin hanya merelakan kepergiannya, coz alm. mamanya ini balik ke Surga, she's been saved...

Kadang, atau mungkin sering, kita harus mengakui keterbatasan pemikiran kita sebagai manusia. Kita tidak punya jawaban atau alasan dibalik setiap peristiwa... Hanya Dia yang tahu... karna Dia adalah Allah yang tidak terbatas... What matters now is our temporary life here in this world... apakah kita menggunakan masa hidup kita untuk melakukan hal-hal yang benar dan hidup memuliakan Dia, seperti anak cewek itu, yang akhirnya menjadi inspirasi bagi banyak orang, bahkan yang jejaknya tetap ada walaupun dia sudah meninggal... atau hanya menghabiskan waktu yang ada semau kita sendiri yang ga menuju ke mana-mana?

There are a lot of lessons from death... but they are only point out that there are a lot more to live...

Do you really alive or just breathing?

What Really Matters

For just a moment
When I lay my head silently
And pour all things in my mind
I know You're listening...

For just a moment
When all the feelings and moods swirl
Come out with heart's words and teardrops
I know I can be vulnerable... I can trust You

For just a moment
I know You look at me so close
Stand still beyond all my doubts and questions
I know You're faithful...

In everything... everyday...
Your voice guides me through
Blend in with my weaknesses
But still... You are working miraculously within me...

For just a moment
When I seek what is that trully matter of all
It's You and what Your heart's desire
Nothing else more matter that those...

For just a moment
I catch a glimpse of You
In Your promises and Your Spirit in me...
What matters most to you?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

What Oprah Winfrey Say About A Man

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".  A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.  Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two Way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. - Isn't this TRUE!!!!!

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another prepare.

Sumber: copied from Calvin's multiply hehehe...