Trus trus... ternyata puisi yang aku buat pas aku lagi mellow 'n pengen banget pulang ("Kisah Sang Telaga") jadi kayak nubuatan yang tergenapi... Waaaaaaawwww.... O.O
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Reason Why I Keep Writing
Trus trus... ternyata puisi yang aku buat pas aku lagi mellow 'n pengen banget pulang ("Kisah Sang Telaga") jadi kayak nubuatan yang tergenapi... Waaaaaaawwww.... O.O
Monday, September 22, 2008
Back For Good to Surabaya
Then God gave me scripture that said, "He who has more love for his father or mother than for Me is not good enough for Me; he who has more love for son or daughter than for Me is not good enough for Me." (Matthew 10:37). I didn't think of that before... It's not literally mean that I should hate my family, but I should put Him first before anyone or anything else. From that point, I learnt to have the right priority in my heart...
And when I said, "Okay God, have your way... I'm done with mine... terserah Engkau mau bawa aku ke mana, entah aku bakal balik atau di sini, atau malah ke laen tempat lagi... just have Your way... You're The God... It's all about You, not about me or what I want..." Saat aku udah mulai settle di sini, udah mulai terbiasa ama semuanya, udah ga protes-protes lagi, mulai les EF... di saat yang aku ga sangka sama sekali... my elderly brother's friend called me, asking for my availability for his job offer, that he has previously talked months before... their website will be launched by the end of October, and they need me as soon as possible. It took me only 11 days until I made my decission after I prayed, have His confirmations, and asked opinions from my elderly brother, his wife, my mom, my dad, my "brother" in my office.
Yang rada aneh itu feeling... Dulu waktu aku baru lulus kuliah, belon tau tentang Basic Training di CBN, aku tiba-tiba ada feeling yang kuat banget kalo langkah selanjutku tu bukan di Surabaya. I tried to rationalize that but I just couldn't... sampe akhirnya setelah satu proses aku menjejakkan kaki di Lippo Cikarang. Nah kali ini, feelingnya emang ga sekuat dulu... cuman gatau knapa sejak taun 2008 ini aku selalu ngerasa ga yakin kalo ada usulan rencana buat taun 2009 atau rencana yang jauh-jauh gitu... Kayak waktu ada promo gratis airasia Jakarta-Surabaya (cuman bayar pajak doang) dulu selalu langsung aku pesen, buat mudik taun depan (promo gratis gitu kan kudu dipesen antara 6 bulan - 1 taun sebelonnya). Tapi kali ini aku ngerasa ga yakin banget... aku ga yakin 2009 aku masih di sini apa gak. Trus juga ada temen yang ajakin buat rencana liburan awal 2009... aku ga ngerasa yakin juga. Aku pikir maybe itu cuman feeling biasa aja... eh ternyata feeling beneran...
My IT gals... you have been the answer of my prayer 2 years ago. Thank you for your companion and care... at any time... including when I got sick... Thank you so much... You're the perfect "Yoel's Angels" now since there are only 3 of you =p of course that before the new angels come into the picture =p Keep up the spirit okay?
We'll have a girl's night before I went off for sure...
JCers... thank you for being a part of my journey while I'm here... ^_^
This is not a farewell forever... I just gotta take a step to the next journey...
So... keep in touch ^.^
Friday, September 19, 2008
Being a "Different" Person
Have you ever thought that, even tough everyone was unique, but you seemed had the most uniqueness among them?
It takes the guts to stand up and just being you when you're in a condition like that. I have tried once to act differently than the way I have used to be. But it didn't work, I felt like I was completely not me. I have some unique quirks... well actually I think everyone at least has one unique quirk. But in some cases, if you have an unusual quirk among people around you, they usually tend to give you suggestions, advices, anything they think is a good way to change you, to conform you with the "normal" habit according to their perspectives.
I'm not talking about a rebellion topic here, neither the wrong attitudes or sins. If they are the cases, then the only solution is to change them, which is started from renewing the heart. But I'm just talking about uniqueness... Something that was born within us naturally... something that supposed to has the right to be admitted, respected, and celebrated. Because it creates colourful relationships among us.
We do have a responsibility to adjust ourselves with the community where we're in, if it's necessary. But we don't have to lose our authenticity, we shouldn't let it vanishes. God has put some different quirks in each of us, including talents, for a purpose. He created each person to fulfill a particular purpose, so He needs to put some particular ingredients to make that happen. It's just that simple.
Of course, as you already know, not everyone can grasp this truth. So we just need to be wise in assorting between the advices that we need to follow and the other contrary ones. One thing to remember, as it says:
"You were born original, don't die a copy"
Thursday, September 18, 2008
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
Working on Your Dream: One Step at a Time
Friday, September 12, 2008
Long Time No Writing
Monday, September 8, 2008
Disconnected
When we were all connected so perfectly (okay, not exactly perfect, but at least that was the best thing that had happened among us)
When that bonds attached us one another with encouragements, jokes, conversations, and even deep "heart to heart" talks, showed that we cared for each other's life, not only on the surface...
Now... it's just completely different...
I feel those times are so left behind...
Communication only means business, to do lists, and just "on surface" conversations
Just tell me this isn't true, I surely doubt it
Just tell me you don't feel it, then I won't believe it
Feels like I have lost your friendships... we are all only colleagues now...
I do wish for a miracle, to re-create our bonds, just like they used to be, or even better
I just don't know whether it's possible with our current condition right now
Or maybe... it's just the way it should be...
But I do hope... I do have that wish...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Hardest Part of Choosing
There is a point in your life when you realize there are two contrary heart’s desires in yourself. One comes from your intention to obey His will and another comes from your own wish. It’s easier to choose if you know which one is good (or true) and which one is bad (or sinful). But it becomes much harder when you know that your own wish seems a good one too, it totally doesn’t appear as sin. As a matter of fact, most people called it a good character and intention. But deep in your heart, you know that it isn’t God’s will for you, at least for right now.
Well… you can choose to keep moving on through His path, like you have been doing all these times. But somehow you know that you didn’t do it with your whole heart anymore. You used to think that this journey might be temporary… but when all you can “see” is an endless road ahead, you tend to feel like you want to give up… but you know you can’t. So you just keep running on with half battery power while you’re waiting for the time when you (finally) will be able to really breath in and live the way you’ve always wished for. But with that attitude, you know for sure that actually you have not made your decission yet. Because if you have chosen one, you should have lived it in your daily life with your whole heart.
You know this is hard. Even there were times when you asked God, “Are You really on my side?”
“Where will You bring me to?”
“What is exactly Your particular plan for me?”
Sometimes it’s hard to move forward when you can’t see anything clearly…
Remember this… the truth is… God is the Only Ultimate Story-maker.
We may have known Him as our Best Friend, our Protector, and our good Heavenly Father. Don’t you think that maybe this is the season when He wants you to know Him deeper, as your Almighty God? God who has unlimited power… God who has created you with His magnificent plans upon your existence here on earth… God who has power upon all His creations and everything… God who is an Ultimate Author of your life.
…So, which one will you choose?